What's Best?

I have been struggling about how to share what is going on right now with our family. I want this to be something my kids look back on and I want to be honest, but I also never want one of my kids to look back on something I wrote and take it the wrong way. With this being said I need to write this down so I remember the struggle. Noah has been struggling in school since the end of first grade. We started to notice it while doing homework with him daily. It was a major struggle! He would try every way possible not to do it or try to get me to do it for him. He would rush through it and make tons of mistakes. I honestly thought he just didn't want to do it and was being stubborn. We also noticed that his reading wasn't moving along like we expected. By the end of the year we knew he needed some help. At the start of 2nd grade we met with his teacher and addressed our concerned. We wanted him to go through the testing process so we could see if he had any learning disabilities. The teacher kept on telling us he was doing fine and I never pushed the issue even though I knew he wasn't doing fine and I could seem him struggling. We got him counseling for his anxiety and self-esteem and it helped, but his issues at school didn't go away. By the end of the year his reading level had actually dropped and we were more frustrated than ever, but lost on what to do! This brings us to the beginning of this year and again we went to the teacher and got the ball rolling to get him tested, but found out his second grade teacher never filed the correct paper work and we had to start pretty much from the beginning with this already long process with the school to figure out what is going on. His teacher this year has been a huge supporter and in about 2 weeks we will officially start the process of getting him tested at school. In the mean time Chris and I just watched Noah struggle more and more, his reading became worse and his self esteem was taking a nose dive. We could tell he tried very hard to keep up with others and he is very self conscious and aware of his struggle. It was literally breaking my heart to watch and Chris and I felt helpless. I would get emotional about it several times a month and I found myself getting frustrated with Noah and I knew it wasn't his fault. I felt like we didn't do enough early on and now we have a bigger problem. This leads us to two weeks ago.

Chris and I decided to take him to a well known center called Brain Balance to get him tested privately and see what we could do for him outside of the school. After two 1 1/2 hour test we found out what is going on with Noah. He has a processing disorder, visual disorder, auditory disorder, decoding issues and many fine motor skills issue. Now the question of how to help him. Brain Balance is expensive....I mean SUPER expensive, but as parents we don't want money to stop us from giving Noah the ability to be successful. I just don't mean successful in school, but we wanted him to feel successful. We wanted him to not be frustrated anymore! We believe in the Brain Balance program, but is that the only way. We knew we weren't going to wait on school because by the time they are done with their testing it will be the middle of April. He will get services for a couple of weeks and then we will be off for the summer. I don't think that is the only help he needed. After speaking to SEVERAL people we have found out some other options. First off school won't be able to help with his visual or auditory disorder and they can't promise me OT for his fine motor skill issues. I have names of two doctors that specialize in each disorder and then a name of doctor to help us figure out the nutrition part. Many studies show that many kids with learning disabilities are dealing with some kind of nutrition issue. We are just feeling overwhelmed and confused! What to do? What is best for Noah? We don't want to waste to much more time. It is a big undertaking for Chris and I to manage all of this. We have been praying for answers and at times I am sure and at other times I am not so sure about a decision. It is weighing on us and consuming us. I am sure once we get started on all of his therapies it will be just as consuming. No matter what we decide it isn't going to be an easy fix. We need your prayers to make the right decision and I specifically need prayer for my patience. I can get overwhelmed and take it out on my children. I am daily praying over Noah so Chris and I can be the parents we need to be for him. I also need prayer that I don't hit the next person that tells me how smart their child is or how well they did on the standardize test or what stupid project their over achieving child is doing in Target (a program in Georgia schools for gifted and talented children and don't get me started on how they haven't cut that program, but has cut the programs for those who need extra help!!!). Ok, sorry I had to vent! That pretty much sums up what has been going on and where we are at in the process. We will keep you updated.